Rights and Responsibilities

Several years ago, a friend of mine was experiencing trouble in his marriage. From all the signs we could see, his marriage was headed for a divorce. In a last ditch effort to try to keep this from happening, I asked him if he would be willing to meet with me and a few other men. He agreed and I called together a few of the most mature and seasoned leaders of our church. We began by praying together and asking him about how he saw his marriage and what opportunities he saw for reconciliation.

As he answered, we began to see a pattern. Every time he began to describe an aspect of his marriage, he would talk about how his wife was to blame. If his wife had done something different, if his wife had understood him better…on and on he went trying to convince us that his poor marriage was mostly, if not fully, his wife’s fault. We needed to understand that he was not to blame.

It was then when one of our wise leaders spoke. “Please don’t misunderstand our purpose,” he said, “we’re not here to place blame. We’re here to assign responsibility. We’re not saying it’s all your fault. We are saying it’s your responsibility.”

It may not be my fault, but it still may be my responsibility.

I may not be to blame, but it still may be my responsibility.

I thought of the wise leader’s words the other day as I watched the news reporting about another march by somebody demanding their rights. They were carrying signs and shouting chants about how they wanted their rights and they wanted them now. Please don’t misunderstand me. I believe everyone is entitled to their rights. And yes, I believe these rights are given to us by God Himself.

I did wonder, however, why we never see anyone march demanding responsibilities. Rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. You can’t have one without having the other. When my boys were growing up and demanding more and more freedom from me I told them they could have all the freedom they were willing to pay for. They wanted to drive my car and burn my gas and then tell me I had no right to tell them where they could and couldn’t drive. I reminded them there were some places my car didn’t go. When they were paying for their own car and gas, they would have the right to go wherever they wanted to go. As long as the car was my responsibility, I had the right to determine where my car would go.

Responsibilities aren’t always that clear cut. I have two biological sons, yet I have many more children. Let me tell you what I mean. I was a pastor for over 45 years. I saw lots of children born and I saw a lot of bad things happen. Sometimes, parents divorce. Sometimes a parent leaves and sometimes, a father dies. Because of this, I ended up being a father figure to a lot of children. These were “my kids.” I disciplined them. I celebrated with them. I laughed and cried with them. I attended ball games and concerts and graduations. I talked to young men who were wanting to become engaged to one of “my daughters.”

Taking responsibility is the mission and calling of the church. The troubles in the world aren’t our fault, but they are our responsibility. In every city there are people who are hungry. They aren’t our fault, but they are our responsibility. The same is true of orphans, widows, addicts, those in prison – none of them are our “fault,” but they are our responsibility.

We are invited by Christ to join Him in his redemptive work in the world and as we join Him in His work, He will assign us certain responsibilities. We will be assigned to be responsible for the third grader in our local school who can’t read. We will be assigned to steward the life of the newly released felon who’s trying to rebuild their life. We will be given the responsibility to teach, heal and guide those in need we encounter – just as Jesus did.

No, we may not be to blame for the problems of the world, but we are responsible. The sin of the world wasn’t Jesus’ fault, but it was His responsibility.

As children of the kingdom we have rights such as access to the Father and the joy of union with Christ through His Spirit. With those rights come responsibilities. If we belong to Him, then we belong in His work. Because we have the rights of being a child of the Kingdom, we also have the responsibilities of being His children.

Rights and responsibilities – they go together. If He has given us the right to be called His children He has also given us the responsibility to be part of His redemptive work. We can’t have one without the other.

This essay was first posted in Scot McKnight’s newsletter.