Don’t Rob Me of My Blessing

My mother was a great caregiver. If you were going through a hard time, you wanted my mom around. She was strong, protective and compassionate. She could handle the nosy neighbor who wanted to know too much and then rock an upset child. She could be as strong as she needed to be and then as gentle as you needed her to be. She was something else. My mom taught me to bring paper plates and cups to a family going through a hard time. Everybody brings food, she said, no one brings anything to eat it on. In the church where I grew up, my Mom was the first call for most of the people in our church.

What my mom wasn’t good at was receiving ministry and help. I remember one year when Mom received a gorgeous handmade robe from the senior adult ladies who were in the Sunday School she taught. My mom was mortified. The gift was too expensive. The money should have been spent on someone else. My mother didn’t “need” this robe. On and on she went.

Finally, I had to pull her aside and tell her, “Mom, you spend every Sunday telling your ladies to love each other and right now, they are loving you. You have to receive their blessing. They love you and want to show you that. Don’t rob them of their blessing of loving you.”

Most of us in leadership are lousy at receiving the blessings and love of those we serve. After all, Jesus said it’s better to give than to receive. True, Jesus did say that. Most of us, however, interpreted Jesus’ teaching to mean to ALWAYS give and to NEVER receive. That’s not what Jesus said. It’s better to give yes, but it’s not wrong to receive. Jesus, after all, had people who ministered to Him. It feels better to give because it puts us in a position of power. Receiving a gift requires a little bit of humility.

Yet, most of us know that one of the most important moments in a child’s life is their first contribution to the welfare of the family. Life in our growing urban culture means most children don’t grow up doing chores on the farm. Few of us have had to milk the cows and feed the chickens before we went to school. Some of our friends still do this, but not many. Studies have told us how important it is for children to understand they play a role in the family’s success. The act may be simple and basic, something like helping clear the dishes off the table after supper or bringing in the groceries from the car. That first moment when the child realizes they’ve done something to help the family changes that child’s life forever. They belong. They’re important. They have a responsibility.

For most of us, discipleship is about information – studying the Bible to memorize what Jesus said about how to live life. Discipleship, at its best, is about how we live. Being a Christ follower is evidenced in our behavior. Behavior has to be learned. We learn behavior one step at a time. Remember, Jesus taught His disciples and then, He would send them out to practice what they had learned. The disciples would return and Jesus would pull them away to hear about what they had done. The practice was repeated over the time Jesus was with His disciples. They would learn. They would practice. They would review.

As leaders, we would do well to emulate the practice of Jesus in teaching His disciples. Teach them. Send them out and then, when they return, review how they did and start the process all over again.

This means there are times when a student will return to bless their teacher. A child will bring something to their parents and yes, sometimes, a church will bless their pastor. When that happens, be reminded it’s OK to receive. Someone has been led by Christ to extend an act of love, a blessing, to you. Receive it graciously and know, even this is part of your teaching. Somehow, Christ led them to take this action and when they followed through they were learning critical and basic lessons of following Christ.

Lessons such as:

How to hear the voice of Christ in their own lives.

How to discern the particular action being called for.

Then, finding the courage to act.

These are critical and foundational lessons for any believer to learn and when their learning means a blessing to you, receive it in the name of Christ.

Don’t rob them of their blessing. Let them enjoy the blessing of giving. Let them know the joy of being part of the answer Christ is bringing to someone’s prayer.

It’s an important lesson to learn and we begin to learn it in the smallest ways. Yes, it’s better to give, but it’s still OK to receive.

This essay was first posted in Scot McKnight’s newsletter.