It All Begins With Gratitude
Rob is a long time friend of mine. He’s also in recovery. The wisdom he has gained from his own journey and from spending time with so many others in the recovery community means we always have a conversation that pays off for the time invested. The other day, Rob and I were talking and I commended him for being thirty-five plus years sober. He corrected me. “I’ve been sober for about thirty minutes,” he said, “and I’m grateful for our conversation that has allowed me to remain sober for these thirty minutes.”
He could tell I was confused by his statement. He went on to explain to me that, for him, he had learned not to think about his life in terms of months and years, but of minutes and hours – of one day at a time – each and every day. Whenever he allowed his attention to think about anything other than the moment before him, he would lose the presence of that moment and yes, risk his sobriety. He lived every day one day at a time.
He went on to tell me that he had developed several spiritual practices that have guided his journey in sobriety. While Rob is not a traditional believer, he is deeply spiritual and serious about his soul work. The first one, he said, was getting up every morning and practicing “his gratitudes.” Rob begins every day by listing out the things in his life for which he is grateful. He does this every day. For Rob, every day begins in gratitude.
I thought about Rob the other day as I was driving around town and noticed how many businesses, neighborhoods and homes had already put up their Christmas decorations. I can remember listening to the pastor of my childhood church ranting about people who put up their Christmas decorations too early and buried the Thanksgiving holidays under tinsel, garland and blinking strands of Christmas lights. According to him, it was blasphemous to say “Merry Christmas” before you said “Happy Thanksgiving.” There was a divine order to the holidays. Everyone should celebrate Thanksgiving and then put their Christmas decorations up on Black Friday. To do it any other way is to risk divine judgement.
These days, we’re lucky if we can get by Halloween before someone has plugged up their outdoor Christmas lights with enough brightness to confuse incoming airline pilots.
Most of the pundits talk about the greed of Americans and how eager we are to get to our Christmas presents. We want to find the best buy one, get one free and top that with the latest half off sale. Christmas has now become an orgasm of greed. We want our presents and we want them now. Sure, we’ll take a break and sing “Joy to the World,” but as fast as we can, we’ll get back to opening our presents.
I understand why a lot of people would assume Christmas has been lost in our malignant consumerism, but I think there’s more to the story. I think it’s just been so dark for so long a lot of people just can’t take it anymore. We need to find some kind of light and we need to find it fast and we’ll find it anywhere we can. To find our light, we’ll do what we have to do even if we have to plug up the strands of light and plug them in ourselves.
We just can’t take the darkness any longer. We can’t take any more stories of genocide and drug overdoses, of riots and store lootings, of abuse and neglect and homelessness. We’re tired of being too busy, too lonely, too isolated and too connected. Life isn’t supposed to be this way. We want life to be the way it’s supposed to be, filled with joy and light and we’ll make it that way even if we have to fake it.
This brings me back to my friend Rob. I think we could rediscover a little of our lost joy and find some of the light we’re seeking if we’d remember to begin our days – to begin our Christmas – with gratitude. We’re grateful as we remember our Lord hasn’t forgotten us nor has he lost us. Our sins aren’t so big that they separate us from Him. Our failures haven’t canceled His love for us. He has come.
When I sit down at our Thanksgiving table I’ll be grateful for all I see. I’ll be grateful for a marriage of forty-five years and two sons who have made their way in the world. I’ll be grateful for our daughters-in-law and four grandchildren. I’ll remember our parents who loved us and taught us well. And I’ll remember every good thing in my life is a result of a God who chose to send His Son into our dark world so long ago.
My day will begin with Thanksgiving. My Christmas will begin with gratitude. It all begins with gratitude – gratitude for a Savior who didn’t forget us then and hasn’t forgotten us now. I know it’s dark, but the Light is coming. Let’s begin our celebration of Christmas with thanksgiving. It all begins with gratitude.
This essay was first posted in Scot McKnight’s newsletter.
