Never Give Up

After you’ve been married for a few years, other people begin to think you're an expert on marriage. Now that we’ve been married for forty-six years, people keep asking Jeannie and me about the secret to a lasting marriage.  Once when we were sitting with a group of newly married young adults, one of the wives turned to Jeannie and said, “How have you and Mike managed to stay together all these years?”

Jeannie thought for a minute and then, in almost a sigh, she said, “Neither one of us left.” 

There you have it. She didn’t leave. I didn’t leave. Therefore, we stayed together.

Notice what she didn’t say. She didn’t say we didn’t think about leaving. As difficult as I am to live with (I don’t even like living with myself), I’m sure there were days when it would have been  easier for Jeannie to leave. I’m sure there were days we were both mad enough to leave. I’m sure we’ve been both hurt enough to leave.

But we didn’t. Sometimes the greatest victory isn’t winning the battle, but refusing to leave the field. 

I thought of this as I concluded my Bible study on the life of Abraham. As he dies, we’re told he died contented. As we read his story, however, we get a sense of his constant frustration. After all, God had promised a great nation would be born through him and when he dies, he only has two sons, Isaac and Ishmael. While Isaac is the child of the promise, Ishael is the one who seems to be doing better. Abraham doesn’t seem to have finished.

Yet, Abraham doesn't give up. 

Isaac has twins, Jacob and Esau, and while what follows isn’t a fairy tale by any means, Isaac keeps believing. Jacob keeps the faith. So, does Joseph. 

Moses sees the Promised Land, but doesn’t get there. David builds a kingdom, but it doesn’t last. Jesus brings in the New Kingdom and finishes His earthly ministry having built a tough band of twelve followers. Paul dies in Rome never having the chance to preach in Spain as he wanted. None of them finished, but none of them quit. All of them lived between the giving of the promise and the keeping of that promise. They, like us, lived in the “not yet” of faith.

Three years ago, I stepped down as the senior pastor of a church. I wasn’t finished. There was still a lot of work to do – but this time, the work wasn’t mine to do. The pastor who followed me was better suited and gifted to lead the church to respond to the new challenges of the changing ministry environment. I still do a lot of work with pastors and churches, but I didn’t finish the needed work at my church. Guess what? Neither will the pastor who followed me. When the time comes for him to step down, he’ll be just as frustrated as I was when he looks at all the work that still needs to be done. 

This is the human condition. We never finish. One of the things that makes the ministry so frustrating is that there’s always one more thing that should be done. We can always make one more phone call, spend a little more time on the sermon, or attend one more meeting. We never go home knowing we’ve done all that needs to be done. We never see the church finished. 

Welcome to reality. Parents never see their children finished. My sons are in their forties but I’m still a dad. I’m on call 24/7 ready to respond to any crisis or need my sons might have. That will never end. I’ll never finish being a dad. I’ll never finish being a husband. I’ll never finish being a friend. I’ll never finish any of it. 

But I won’t quit. 

Finishing is what God does.  For us, we get to be part of the finishing. We get to work with Christ in the work for a moment. We are invited by Christ to make our mark in a moment, all the time knowing our moment will soon pass. We also know, however, the day will come when everything will be finished in Christ. Then, we can lay it all down. Then, we can quit. 

But not until then. Now, we work. Now, we show up. Now, we keep trying – knowing all the time we’ll never finish. 

And on that day when Christ makes all things new and announces His kingdom finished and His redemptive work done, we’ll join with those, who like us, never finished, but never quit. 

Abraham, Paul, Mary and all the rest – faithful souls who never finished, but never quit.

I’ll be glad to have joined that tribe. Those of us who never finished, but who never quit.