Nine Ways to Know

My father-in-law, Jean Powers, was one of the kindest men I have ever known. He was always helping neighbors and friends with projects. He would go out of his way to ask a friend about how they or their family was doing. On more than one occasion, we had to wait at a family function because Jean was talking to a friend or helping a neighbor – of course, he was always going to be right back. That’s who Jean was. He was an extremely kind, good and generous man. We all wanted to be more like him, but none of us had the genetic markers for kindness that Jean had.

When Jean passed away in 2010, I was asked to lead his funeral service. In preparation, I asked for his Bible. I’ve found that, especially for committed believers, thumbing through their Bibles can give you some insight into their spiritual journey. What I found in Jean’s Bible changed my life forever.

The devotional book he was using was folded open to the day he went into the hospital. Jean had been faithful in his Bible studies literally until the moment he was admitted to the hospital. There were notes from previous events and worship services. There were pictures of children (now, all grown) and grandchildren tucked in between the pages.

Then, there were notes – lines and lines of underlined words and highlighted passages. Key words were circled, and important points were numbered across the page. And the word most highlighted?

Kindness.

The Bible seemed to be a running record of his prayers and conversations with Jesus. He would note questions from a text and, a line or two later, he would write down the answer. His notes were so detailed I felt as if I had interrupted a private conversation between Jesus and Jean. This conversation had been going on all of Jean’s life. He had carefully noted what was expected of a disciple of Christ and then, carefully tried to align his life to the teachings of Christ. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control – these are the Spirit’s fruit, and they were the aim of Jean’s life.

That’s when it hit me – Jean hadn’t been born with the kindness gene. He was doing his best to follow Christ the best way he knew how. That meant being kind to everyone he met. That meant taking care of his family. That meant being a faithful friend. That meant intentionally stopping and looking at someone when they were talking to you.

And it didn’t come naturally. It didn’t come easily. Kindness and gentleness take a little work. In fact, we’ll work most of our lives trying to make goodness, gentleness and kindness part of our natural character.

Jean died when he was 78 years old. He had spent most of this life working on the fruit of the Spirit. He got most of them before he died. Now, here’s what worries me. I’m not a kind man. I’m not a gentle man. If it took Jean 78 years to get it right, how long would it take me?

Guess I need to get started. I don’t have that much time left. And what about you? I’m guessing you’ll need to get started as well.

This essay was first posted in Scot McKnight’s newsletter.